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Steering Team update: We met again this past Saturday. We are meeting weekly in person and daily on-line. Please understand that we are all volunteer parents (and one student) who are doing this in our spare time.

Our primary initial strategy is to develop relationships of trust with the people who have the power to make change in the system, and people who can help us. Please understand that, in the early stages, those conversations must remain confidential, so we can't report on them here yet until the results are public. But they are happening fast!

We also spent time planning our Voices public event on Nov 16, 2-4 PM, at Flamborough Baptist Church. (See "Events" for more info.)

We also identified several key areas where we felt we as a parent group can have positive impact changing the way bullying is handled at HWDSB, and which ideas can be implemented within existing budget and structure restrictions. We need to start realistically before attempting loftier ideas.

It will take a village to change the way bullying is handled. We are claiming our power and our place as parents in that village.

Steering Team Members:
Julie Schaafsma
Rev. Ryk Brown
Kathleen Hilchey
Sherri Cormier Cully
Tracy Stewart
Nicole Callander
Emerson Edwards
Julie Gushul
Karen Todd

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From the Steering Team: About the HWDSB meeting yesterday and the public reaction.

Yesterday HWDSB voted to create a 3-person panel to report back by May. We applaud and support this initiative. We are thrilled to see that our group was specifically identified as one of the stakeholders for the panel to speak with!

This does not preclude the Board from taking other action in the interim. We commend the Board for taking the time necessary to formulate good recommendations, even if some people feel that's too long. Knee-jerk recommendations usually don't fix a broken system.

We acknowledge that trust is low and skepticism is high about the Board's motives. We acknowledge that some people feel betrayed by the Board's inaction in the past. We do not have the moral authority to judge them. We will grant anyone the grace to learn from their past mistakes and make a change. If they're willing to work with us, then we're willing to work with them.

Let there be no misunderstanding: if it turns out that the skeptics are correct and this review panel is just a delay tactic, then we will not go away quietly! But we believe the Board is sincere.

One local group is calling for a nationwide walkout. We have serious concerns about this strategy, so we are not endorsing it. But, we have great sympathy for the frustration that is leading to it, so we are also not opposing it. You are free to decide for yourself whether you want your children to participate.

People and groups are connecting with us specifically because they support our strategy. And, so far, it has proved successful in getting our voice heard!

Thank you for ongoing support.

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The Voices Against Bullying steering team met yesterday in person for the first time for two hours, at the end of which we were emotionally exhausted. This is tough stuff to deal with.

The first thing we did was simply give everyone the chance to share their own story of bullying and why they want to be a part of the solution, as well as what skills they have to offer. That ended up being a very emotional experience and taking significantly more time than expected, but created a huge amount of necessary trust.

One of the principles we're operating under is that we're not know-it-alls. And if we approach the board like we already know what the solution is, then the board will just listen politely and ignore us. If we want to change the system, then we first need to understand the system. And to do that we need to hear from people who work in the system, but, firstly, from outside Hamilton.

So we brought in two resource people with over 60 years of experience working in the Ontario school system dealing with bullies, one as a principal and the other as one of the founders of the OSSTF Restorative Justice program. And we have other experts lined up to meet with us in the future so that we can better understand how the system is supposed to work, how it really works, what has actually worked elsewhere, and what has not worked elsewhere.

Some of our key learnings so far:

1. The first priority of the system is supposed to be creating a safe space for learning. The system is failing on this primary responsibility. Children are not being protected. But we already know that. That's why we're here.

2. Approaching the board in anger will not change the system. There are plenty of good reasons for parents to be angry, but we need to channel that into constructive influence.

3. Protests, t-shirts, and buttons will not change the system. Those things make us feel better in the short term because they make us feel like we're doing something. But raising awareness is not the solution. Everyone in the system is already fully aware there is a problem. More awareness won't fix the system.

4. The teachers and administrators who are succeeding in making a difference elsewhere actually have to break the rules in order to get results, so the existing rules aren't working.

5. One of the problems with bullies is not that they need more awareness of bullying, it's that they don't understand that what they're doing is bullying.

6. Changing the system will require using the relationships we have and developing new relationships with the people inside the system who have the power to make a difference. Real change has to come from within the system. We have the power to influence that.

7. Changing the system will require being an ally, not an adversary to the system.

8. Just punishing bullies doesn't work. It just shifts them to be somebody else's problem. And it actually makes the bullies worse, by robbing the bullies of the power they have to change themselves. Remember, they're still children. Our goal is not punishment. Our goal is to change them into productive human beings so they don't grow into adult bullies.

9. Changing the system requires a comprehensive approach. It requires protecting victims, but also teaching them how not to be further victimized, because bullies can't bully without a target. It requires teaching bystanders to be upstanders, because bullies thrive on an audience. It requires coaching bullies how to use their power in helpful ways instead if hurtful ways. It may require crafting new rules that allow teachers and administrators to be empowered to make a difference. It may require new accountability systems. And it will require support from us in the parent community to bring resources beyond what boards are capable of providing in a climate of budget cutbacks.

Some of you may feel frustrated because you're not seeing enough action yet. The time for action will come, but knee-jerk action will not change the system. We are in this for the long run, for as long as it takes to actually make Hamilton schools safe for our children.

We meet again next Saturday.

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